16 April 2011

19 Centennial Avenue, Brunswick West, VIC, Australia

A renovator's dream!
This charming little hellhole has been on our list of potential properties for some time now, but for some reason or another, we hadn't quite got around to writing about it until today. I don't know why, because this place just exemplifies the abandoned buildings side of his blog. The first time we went past it, I very nearly drove off the road in shock, because up until that point all the surrounding houses had been quite nice. This just hurts my eyes. Usually when you see something in this state of disrepair, it's surrounded by a wire fence with demolition orders up. But no, this one is just chillin', clearly without having seen any love or attention since it was first built. It clearly hasn't been painted since then - the original coat has just flaked off over time to expose the bare boards underneath. It seems that the plaster rendering on the upper section of the house has just fallen off, exposing a tasteful sort of wood skeleton underneath. In fact, those sections remind me forcibly of the huts I used to build in my back garden, which were made of bit of old trellis fence. The roof tiles are falling like autumn leaves, and I think the house has shifted a little on its foundations, because those windows certainly don't fit as snugly in their frames as they once might have. The garden is messy with a crumbling fence, and there is a lot of accumulated rubbish shoved down between the house and the fence.
I'm sure it was nice 100 years ago.

Now, let me draw your attention to the pictures taken through the windows. We examined these after our first visit here, and were surprised to see that there was actually some stuff inside. A fan is clearly visible, as well as some other random clutter. We assumed that the residents had just left, leaving all their old furniture to fester. I mean, seriously, out of all the houses we've collected for this blog, we were quite sure that this place was totally, absolutely abandoned. We assumed it must have been sitting there for years with just that horrible, fetid old caravan for company.

That poor, poor fan!
Here's why we should never assume anything ever again. Recently, we drove past this place at night. We had been keeping our eyes peeled, since we thought it might be quite hard to find in the dark. Well, this wasn't the case at all. You want to know why? Because there was a light on. A proper fluorescent light, not the torchlight of vandals or squatters. The place is actually in use. I couldn't fucking believe it. This is probably the closest we've come to finding something worthy of a Dot Dot Curve rating, and it turns out that people actually USE IT, perhaps even live in it. Out of all the places we've found for this blog so far, this was one of the few cases where we didn't even have a flicker of doubt about the "abandoned" status we gave it. Even if this is just someone's workshop rather than their residence, you'd think they'd at least fix the roof. I would be genuinely worried about this place staying up in a high wind, so I certainly wouldn't leave anything I'm working on in there unattended. In addition to that, it looks so easy to break in to. All you'd need to do is tap on the wall and you'd probably make a gap big enough to crawl through. I'm not even going to think about someone actually living here, but after seeing that light on, it's a troublingly plausible thought. I hope that they move out before that wonky chimney falls through their bedroom roof!

You win the "worst house on this blog" award. Well done.
To be honest, I would rather live in that caravan for a year than spend a week in that house. You might not quite understand how momentous that is, but I am massively ill-disposed towards caravans. They creep me out and they're dirty and horrible and get in the way while you're driving. Caravans are the crows of the mechanical world. I hope that helps you understand how bad these place actually is. I hope for the sake of everyone living on that street that the termites and the elements get rid of this place sooner rather than later. Perhaps then the mystery residents can move somewhere nicer - I think even this would be luxurious compared with their current wreck.

Rating: Cellar floor.


  1. I live across the road from this house and unbelievably I can confirm that an elderly gentleman lives within. He is actually a really nice bloke continuing to live and work in this house that surely will not survive the next serious gale to hit this area. The chimney rivals the lean of the Pisa tower and I wonder at how you could survive the massive drafts that must blow through this place in winter. The internal plaster can only hold back so much. Incredibly, I see the glow of a monitor and our neighbour working through the night on his computer through the front window. Please Lord, protect him from an electrical fault and a certain inferno!

  2. If the Lawn grasses can cope up with the stress, it will be healthy and dense and will be able to resist disease. Sometime the disease may spread and it becomes out of any control. However, the disease resistant cultivars can be implemented to avoid future problems.

  3. Where's an Ozzie hurricane when you need 1 ;-)

  4. Why have you stopped writing this blog? Waaah! Just found it now and having a silent crapping of pants laughing.

  5. Everything is adorable. I love all that tiny embroidery!
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  6. I think the writer of this blog should post her own house to we can criticise the shit out of it. Brunswick use to be a rough suburb. What you don't understand is that these old people represent the history of the suburb. Perhaps we should demolish everything and build concrete prefab town houses so young people who want to feel special about themselves can buy them and publicly criticise the poor old people who gave life to this suburb.

  7. Try looking at this from the perspective of the resident. The poor old guy probably lives on the Old Age Pension, has nowhere else to go, and has no spare cash to renovate his house. How likely is it, do you think, that he actually enjoys living in these conditions? But I haven't spotted any compassion here, just "Let's all laugh at his house!". It must be really wonderful to be a superior person with enough money to live in a nice house and criticize everyone less fortunate. I am not saying that the house looks terrific, but try being a little less shallow and consider for a moment that there might be a legitimate reason why it looks that way.

  8. hey coloured pictures.They played with dough and colourful paper. In the playground they played sliding. They ran around.They played hide-and-seek.safety fence

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